The Dressmaker of Khair Khana by Gayle Tzemach Lemmon

I am writing about this book not because I loved it (I liked it enough, but I loved the topic), but because it's an important book. Just like Imperial life in Emerald City, this book should be read by as many people as possible. 

This book should be required reading for those in the diplomatic corps. I could serve as a partial roadmap of how to get things done in a very challenging social environment. Often, I get the feeling that when a non-native organization is trying to do good in its own cultural and social context (as in Imperial life in Emerald City), it results in disaster. Kamila Sidiqi accomplished much while adhering to the rule of Taliban. This is the trick we need to learn and teach to help those who are living under most difficult circumstances.

Kamila Sidiqi comes from a family of eleven children. She is the third oldest, with an older sister and brother. Having blessed with an educated father who believed in education for all his children, she had big dreams. She hoped to become a professor in Dari or literature one day. All this suddenly came to an end when Taliban seized control of Afghanistan.

Almost immediately, brutal laws were instituted and enforced. Some of them are as follows:

•     "Accused thieves had one hand and one foot cut off, and their severed limbs hung from posts on street corners as a warning to others."  
•     Everything that they consider a distraction from worship was banned - such as music, movies, television, card playing, chess, and kite flying.
•     Creating a representation of the human figure was forbidden.
•     Wearing western clothing or hair cut was forbidden.
•     After a short grace period, the length of men's beard must meet Taliban's requirement of longer than a fist length.
•     Shaving was forbidden.
•     Modernity or anything associated with it was banned.
•     Women will stay at home.
•     Women are not permitted to work.
•     Women must wear the chadri in public.
•     Women must travel with a male family chaperone.
•     Women cannot speak to men they are not related to.
•     Women were banned from schools, offices, etc.

Women were beaten on the streets if they didn't wear chadri (a face covering that left 2 inches by 3 1/2 inches opening for the eyes), if they were out and about alone without a male family chaperone, if their wrist peeked out, if they were caught talking to a male that wasn't their relative, etc.

Initially, Kamila's family didn't have to worry about money. Her father had made wise investments, and they were able to make it. However, as time passed and the adult males of the family (Kamila's father and older brother) were forced to leave their home due to Taliban threats (Kamila's family came from northern Afghanistan associated with a rival faction headed by a charismatic mujahadeen fighter), and the household finances were more and more difficult to meet. As desperation grew, Kamila talked her oldest and married sister, Malika, into teaching her how to sew. Though Malika had a university degree and had been a teacher previously, she was now helping her husband make ends meet with her sewing.

Kamila noticed that even under Taliban rule, some women run businesses did well (such as female doctors treating female patients) as long as they heeded no contact with males rule. Kamila decided that they could start sewing clothes to sell at various markets nearby. The only danger lay in Kamila having to talk to the shopkeepers (mostly men) about her wares. In the beginning, Kamila and her sisters only sold a handful of pieces, but soon, the word spread about her work ethic, craftsmanship, quality of clothes, etc. brought in more and more work. And Kamila's enterprise spread from mouth-to-mouth and more and more desperate women came to Kamila's house to beg for work.

The remarkable thing about Kamila is that she didn't turn anyone away. In fact, she created sewing school to take in as many women and girls as possible and to train them. Her business grew and she was able to give desperate women a chance to contribute and help their desperate families.

Kamila's secret to success was that she knew the dangers and she adhere to most of Taliban's rules. This was a recipe to her success. She dealt with most women. She didn't "educate" the girls, but taught them sewing, which would serve the girls well as adults in helping out their families. Even some Taliban soldiers and commanders sent their daughters to Kamila's sewing school and ordered wedding dresses and others from her. So, she kept the big rules, but she broke what she considered less severe ones - like talking to males not related to her.

Though she minimized the risks of her sisters and those who worked for her, she took great personal risks - she went to the markets to negotiate, sometimes every day, and  she later went on to work for a UN agency against her family's wishes. Through it all, she held her family together, she provided livelihood for hundreds of people, and she made a difference in lives of many.

What I've learned from this books is that under the most draconian living conditions, we are resilient enough to find ways to not only to survive, but thrive. If Kamila can do it, I feel like I can do it, too. Then I wondered if there were any Kamila Sidiqi's in North Korea, in Syria, in Gaza, etc. and I wondered if there'd be anyone there to write their stories. 

I hope there is.